Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Day 25

I'm proud of myself... 25 days without pornography and without web browsing.

Here's a couple of things that I have done with the excess time I've acquired from not using the computer:

1. I got a second job and now work 45-50 hours a week
2. I started a work out regime
3. I started meditating
4. I started doing yoga
5. I started a savings plan
6. I started practicing a few spiritual laws I'ved learned about: detachment, love, believing in myself etc.
7. I got my girlfriend a road bike and now we go cycling together
8. I started studying books for careers I might be interested in the future
9. I started keeping my apartment clean
10. I've begun searching for a less expensive apartment in order to help save money

I feel like I have all this potential and now I actually have time to reach for it.

The downside to this transition is that it hurts like hell at first.

There were moments where I would just sit on the couch staring at the wall.... just completely unable to let go of my desire for pornography and for the computer. I would just feel like hell...

There is another issue... I have a huge increase in sex drive when it comes to real women. The issue is that I have a girlfriend. We have been together for over a year and we're happy together. So it's very conflicting for me to be having stronger than normal desires for other women. I'm utterly lost on what to do with this so far. Basically I can be with my girlfriend and do some fantasizing on the side but my drive to go out there and have sex with other women is real and it is strong.

That's it for now.

2 comments:

  1. Well definitely looking at other women and fantasizing is a withdrawal sympton of porn..happens all the time(just imagine,we r just so used to seeing hundreds of women naked per hour!!! thru porn!! so its hard) but one thing to note if it happens frequently the urge to see porn is strong so avoid fantasizing quickly.Yeah i said it like i've conquered it but the matter of fact is not but keep trying :}

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