Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My advice on quitting porn

How I’ve Successfully Reduced My Use of Internet Pornography

There are 2 simple things that I’ve done to reduce my use of pornography. I use the word “reduce” because I’ve had slip ups where I’ve gone back to using pornography. However, these slip ups lasted a few hours each time and I’ve been without pornography for far less time overall than ever before in my life. Without further delay here are the two things that I’ve done:

· I limit my time on my computer to performing essential tasks.

· I practice intense visualizations every day.

These 2 simple practices have accomplished far more than anything else I’ve tried and here is a little more information about what I’m doing. I limit my time on my computer by making a list of things that absolutely need to be done on my computer in order to get by. Checking my email, keeping this blog updated, and other essential tasks are okay but in moderation. Along with setting a limit on what I use my computer for, I also limit how much time I spend doing these essential tasks. Checking your email and blogs 15 times a day is going to get you in trouble. Limit the time you spend on the computer as well as the websites you visit. Remind yourself that sitting on the computer is NOT spending the limited time you have on this Earth wisely, that you tend to lose your self-control while on the computer, and that you really don’t need to use the computer that much to get by.

The second practice of visualizations is the key to successfully ridding yourself of pornography. Visualizations are a way of slowly changing your beliefs and behaviors. Visualizing is not easy. It takes focus and it takes determination. The fact is that right now you are programmed to use your computer too much and to look at pornography too much. These behaviors are solidly in place in your mind. When you first start practicing the visualizations I mention, you are going to undergo resistance. Resistance is your minds way of combatting change. Resistance comes in many forms. You will find yourself suddenly too tired, too bored, or you’ll find excuses or justification for why you can’t quit porn. Resistance is your mind’s army working against you to prevent change. In order to win this battle, you must use patience. The only way to win is to practice visualizations every day and slowly wear out your resistance. The part of you that wants to quit porn is small and the army of resistance you face will take months to wear down.

The visualizations that have prepared me to conquer pornography are centered on 3 things. The first is my will power, the second is patience, and the third is my desire to rid myself of pornography. These 3 things will enable you to succeed over time. Will power will give you the strength to fight, even when you are losing, patience will allow you to whittle down your resistance, and desire to quit will give you reason to go on.

Will power is the belief in your own ability. In order to gain the greatest amount of will power as quickly as possible, I have shaped my visualization to induce my belief that I have infinite ability. You may find it better to work on the belief that you are greatly capable but I enjoy the limitless sensation of infinite ability. The question to ask yourself is: what would it look like if I was infinitely capable? What would you look like, what clothes would you be wearing, where would you be, what would be going on around you? For me, I see myself wearing a nice suit, on top of a stage, in front of a crowd of cheering people, in a beautiful roman style auditorium with marble columns and exotic plants. The situation for you will differ and that’s good. You want to find something that works for you.

The next important thing, once you’ve figured out your image, is to make this visualization bright, colorful, and big. You want to work on making it clear and realistic. You also want it to be bright and exciting. I visualize bright lights and even fireworks in order to make the image more striking. This is absolutely essential because it gives this image importance in your mind. A dull image will not be important to your brain and it won’t create change.

The next visualization you must practice is patience. Think about patience as stillness. Think of it as keeping your body still and your mind still. When I visualize patience, I think about lying down next to a big rock in a field. I visualize myself being completely still and being clear headed. I think of it as a challenge to see who moves first, the rock or me. Perhaps if I can stay still long enough, an earthquake will crack the rock or an animal will knock it over. The idea is to be so patient that you can outlast something as still as a rock. Again, I like to take it to the extreme to get the most out of my visualizations but you may find something a little more subtle to work better for you. Make this image big, bright, and colorful.

Finally imagine your desire for quitting porn. The way I do this is I visualize myself on the computer. Except instead of normal looking me, it’s a troll version of me. I’m not home either; I’m in a disgusting cave. I also associated something I can’t stand, having my hands dirty, with this image. I did this by imagining that the computer I’m using in my visualization is covered in mud and feces and it’s getting all over my hands as I type. This image makes using the computer repulsive to me. Make this image important by making it big, colorful, and bright but be sure to have an image of yourself getting off the computer and coming back to normal. I don’t want you to think of yourself as a troll.

Practice these visualizations just a few minutes a day in conjunction with limiting your computer use and you’ll notice yourself slowly getting better at staying off the pornography. You might slip up once and awhile but that’s okay. Don’t be hard on yourself. Ridiculing yourself is going to damage your new will power which you need in order to ultimately win the battle. This is about winning the war, even if you lose your first few battles.

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