Update

My eighth attempt came to an end at 14 days. I'd hate to come across as a bad example and I want to make something clear.

Quitting pornography is a great thing to do and I would fully support anyone trying to do it. However, it is not priority above all else.

It seems that it's often our 'little' habits (read insignificant) that recur time and time again. Pornography is one of those little habits of mine. It isn't even comparable to smoking (because that literally kills you) and some people think smoking is a little habit.

What this is really about is leading the life you want. It means doing things to ensure that you can live a life worth living. Pornography is a band aide. It's a quick fix for numbing the pain of a life unsatisfying.

It's dangerous in its effectiveness for reducing my desire to create real relationships, friendships, and a bond with my family.

Anything that does that, whether its drugs, alcohol or whatever is dangerous.

Desire is all you really have when your life sucks. It doesn't matter how smart, capable, or whatever you are... if you don't have desire, nothing happens. Without emotions, you're dead.

I'm in a tough spot right now. My insides are split between a desire to change, to grow, to make friends, to spend time with people, and a part of me thats in a lot of pain, that wants to hide, that wants to seek comfort to dose the pain of loneliness.

Anything in your head can change in a matter of seconds. You can spend decades as a miserable, hateful, angry person and suddenly experience love, joy, and happiness like it's been there the whole time. It's just a matter of desire. How bad do you want it?