Thursday, April 03, 2014

Day 7

Today is day 7. This is getting a lot tougher. My emotions feel stronger, both good and bad. My sex drive is really strong. My wife can't keep up with it so I'm finding myself resisting my urges a lot. I also have noticed that my desire for other women is a lot higher. What's compounding that is they are often attracted to me. When I was younger, I lacked confidence and women didn't pay attention to me. Now that I'm a little older and I have confidence women are flirting with me and it's frustrating. I have no desire to hurt my wife so I resist the urges but it's creating a lot of frustration which I'm dealing with poorly. My strategy so far seems to be positive self-talk and to remind myself that the world isn't all about sex. It's though when I see a woman and I get flashes of sexual imagery with her. It feels like having sex and then stopping suddenly with my sexual pleasure subsiding to frustration of no release. The plus side is that I have more energy. I haven't been able to channel much of it into positive directions yet, although I think it's possible. I really wonder what I'm going to do with all this energy. What's my goal? Sex isn't the only thing in the world and yet I desire it more than ever. It's not like sex is bad either. I just have the dilemma of having a stronger sex drive than my wife. I've tried talking to her about it but it just makes her feel inadequate. She can't raise her sex drive any more than I can decrease mine. We live in a world with infinite solutions and the one I'm taking now, by default, is to hold back a torrent of sexual urge/frustration. Do I channel this energy into productive projects? Do I give up on getting as much sex as I want for the rest of my life? Do I find some method of coercing my wife to have more sex? What about dealing with these strong emotions I"m feeling? Is positive self-talk enough to get me through a storm of negative feelings? It's 5:30 am and I'm lost in all these questions instead of sleeping. This has gotten a lot tougher. I will sit down in meditation today for 30 minutes and explore my situation and some potential answers.

7 comments:

  1. I am real concerned about the size of my penis and how long I can last when I masturbate. I am 18 years old and my penis size is about four inches long and it is slim. Is this because I am somewhat overweight or is it because I have the genes for a small penis or is my penis not finished growing?


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  2. I am a recovering addict under the GreatnessAhead therapy program and I agree with you that self-talk has helped me a lot in restructuring my goals in life. We have the same issue before with regards to intimacy, which led me to even blame my wife. Now I've realized that I was so wrong and that I was just finding putting the blame on her instead of me. Without her support, I don't know how I could win this battle. All the best.

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