Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Day 71

So if you have been keeping up on my blog, you'll know I've met some girls in the last couple of months. One of the girls I went on a date with was celibate and we've been friends since that first 'date'. I told her about how I'm quitting pornography and she's been really supportive.

We celebrated day 70 without porn together.

Today I'm feeling a little anxious but at the same time I'm feeling a little laid back because I accomplish all the little things I've been putting off for the last week.

I wanted to write an entry tonight about the nature of my urges recently.

The best analogy I can think of to describe my urges for pornography during the beginning of this attempt is that of big swells in an ocean. It seemed like I would be okay for a few days and then something would happen that would make me feel angry or sad or lonely and my urges would slowly build up and then slowly come back down again over the course of a few days.


Now my urges show up as if out of no where and they escalate extremely quickly and deteriorate just as fast. It's as if they are spiking instead of rolling in and out. I still think they are basically caused by the same four causes that I found out much earlier in my attempts to quit porn:

Lack of friends
Lack of sex
Lack of relaxation
Lack of fun

This is a challenge because spikes in emotion are harder to deal with than a gradual steady increase in emotion. Think about how much easier it is to stop your anger when your in a fight that is escalating slowly verses how much more challenging it is to stop your anger when something happens suddenly, out of the blue, to cause you to go into a rage.

DESPITE all the complaining about how challenging this is I believe I'll make it to 100 days without pornography.

What should I do to celebrate?

1 comment:

  1. hey im just someone who saw your blog 4 the 1st time,i share your struggle and had read your blog..but i dont get why you are sometimes saying you need to get laid and should find some partners while at the same time trying to quit porn??isnt it both bad things related to each other and leads from one another??