Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Day 56

Got approached by a girl today... talked for like an hour and asked her out to a movie. I just got through watching an intense movie and it's time for bed.... blah

I get to see my friend tomorrow and I'm happy about that.

Feeling good = no feelings of loneliness = no urges for porn.

EDIT:

Oh yeah, I should go over some of the side effects I've noticed now that we're near 2 months into this.

* Increased sex drive - I masturbate and I still feel like I could have sex should the opportunity arise, which is different from before when I looked at porn consistently.

* Increased level of emotion - I feel stronger anger, sadness, happiness... It all feels stronger... I have a feeling that this has more to do with a stronger sex drive than it does with not looking at pictures of naked women.

* Increased interest in women - I love breasts now, more than anytime I can remember. I loooooooovvvvveee them. It feels sooooooo good to touch a woman. Though I haven't sexually touched since my FWB thing ended.

* Feeling lonely - I've gone over this already. This shouldn't be common among every person quitting porn, though I know I'm not the only man whose used porn as a means of dealing with loneliness. However, if there's something else that porn is covering up... quitting is going to reveal it and you're gonna have to deal with it. This isn't a bad thing unless you're unprepared to deal with it... In which case, you should either start wanking to that computer candy again or talk to a therapist.

haha, then again who the hell am I? Do what you want. This is just my take on the situation.

2 comments:

  1. Loneliness is something everybody deals with. I believe it's an urge that keeps us with the clan, that keeps us with a mate, improving both our chances of survival and the chances of producing offspring (I'm speaking in a pre-historical sense of mankind here). Everybody copes with their loneliness differently: some people turn to Jesus, some surround themselves with friends, most get married and have kids.

    But loneliness is a fact of life. One day you are going to die, and no matter who is with you at that time, it's still you who has to do the dying.

    I personally have always been something of a solitary person, and for me the solution was to learn to do the things I love when alone -- play music, create art, etc. But some people just cannot stand to be away from others, and even I still get terribly lonely some days (in spite of living with my girlfriend). But you can always make more friends if you try.

    The most important thing to take away from this note is to work on being secure with yourself, being happy with what you have, and being confident in your goals, both your daily goals and your lifetime goals. After all, you're going to spend the rest of your life with yourself, so it helps to be your own best friend.

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