Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What to do next

What do you do when you have tried so many things...

I'm thankful that my addiction is pornography and not alcohol and yet I feel like this addiction is just as powerful.

I've tried NLP, web filters, accountability partners, canceling my internet...

Yet the problem remains... I want to look at pornography. I can find a way around just about anything because despite these approaches, my desire to look at pornography remains.

There's this part of me that feels sad. This part of me wants to escape, specially in the evenings, by looking at pornography.

There's another part of me that wants to accomplish great things. This part of me wants to harness my sexual energy and redirect it towards working hard on my goals. It wants me to stop feeling sad and trying to escape. This part of me doesn't know how to stop feeling bad in the evening without looking at pornography.

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