Thursday, February 11, 2010

Day 17

There is no way I can do this without a filter.

I'm facing strong temptation; I have caught myself trying to find a way to skirt by the filter all the time.

One side effect of using this filter is that I have not put in as much effort in reducing my desires for pornography.

I've locked myself out of pornography and left it at that.

Now that I'm looking at going without pornography indefinitely, it is time to think about why I am doing this.

Seeing my girlfriend upset about me using pornography urged me to take action but I don't see that as the primary reason.

Gaining the time back from those hours of pornography usage each week is something I really enjoy and I do count this as a reason.

Another major reason is that when I picture my ideal self in the future, the man I want to become, seeing that future self looking at pornography is a disappointing fate. I see pornography usage as something a man does when he doesn't really have a grip on his life.

Overall these two reasons point to one thing: getting more out of life. We all want more out of life and quitting pornography is just one small step in that direction even if its as small as just allowing more time for things that matter.

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