Sunday, June 01, 2008

Day 22 (78 days to go)

Here we are 3 weeks.

Man it feels like it's been forever since I last looked at porn.

When I think about porn, I get an urge to see it but it's not that strong.

So here's a check in on the 4 things that cause urges for pornography.

Lack of friends - This is an issue right now. I'm not really hanging out with any new people and I'd really like to. I'm going to move out to the city as soon as I can find a place and then I'll have roommates and stuff so everything will change but for now and the next couple of weeks... this is an issue for me.
Lack of fun - I've had some fun recently so I'm not too bothered with this one. This week is going to be crazy though because I'm working more hours then any time before.
Lack of relaxation - So far so good on this.
Lack of sex - I got a girls number a few nights ago and I got a girls email today. We'll see what happens with that.

Again to summarize why I'm putting myself through this. I want to redirect my sex drive towards women instead of pornography. I want to push myself to approach girls and get a sex/love life and pornography and excessive masturbation screw that up.

I also want to develop a better social life instead of looking at pornography when I'm lonely. So now when I'm lonely, I push myself to call people and set things up to do.

I came up with a 5 point rating system representing my urges for pornography. This does seem kind of dorky but it helps...

1) Porn doesn't even cross my mind.
2) Having occasional thoughts about pornography and slight urges to look.
3) Thinking about pornography a lot.
4) Feeling the necessity to distract myself as a last resort to avoid pornography
5) On the very verge of looking at pornography

Right now I'm a 2.

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