Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Day 66

Man I messed up, I masturbated.... The urges were so strong yesterday. I was pushing myself to go out and get rejected and I hit huge resistance and I fell back into the comfort of my palm

That was like 13 days. Not bad. When you go 13 days without masturbating, you can't touch yourself at all. If you even think about touching yourself... its over...

when i felt the urge and denied it by saying "no I'm not going to touch myself" I felt really aggrivated. i felt angry that i wasn't going to get the satisfaction from masturbating. That anger motivated me to say "screw it, i'm horny, and i want this... so screw it im doing it"

ive experimented with changing mental states. ive gotten really good at switching from anger to sex... and apparently im good at going from sex to anger and back to sex again... hahah

now, i can kind of transition from sex to enthusiam... like enthusiam for accomplishing my goals and i think ill work on this some more. if i can transition out of sex into enthusiasm effectively, ill be able to stop masturbating for a month... which was my goal.

so thats it. my plan for quitting masturbation is to go a month by transitioning into enthusiasm when i get the urges for sex.

I keep hitting a lot of resistance when it comes to doing this rejection thing. Today I'm working on that. I want at least 1 in for today.

Wow, almost forgot, tomorrow is day 67... I'm impressed with myself.

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