Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Day 44

Okay, the following is an NLP exercise... my comments are in red, the directions are in black.

  1. Overcoming a Phobia by Changing Submodalities
    Identify the phobia and ask yourself, what is it about [the phobia] that frigtens me or makes me come unglued?

I have a fear of approaching and talking to attractive women I’ve never met before. I fear that I’ll offend them and I’ll feel humiliated and rejected.

A. Look for a counterexample, something as close to the phobia as you can think of with which you do fine and act resourcefully.

I can approach and play with dogs I’ve never seen before.

B. Look for the secondary gain, any benefits you receive as a result of having the phobia. Ask yourself, “what benefits do I get or could I get by having this phobia?

What benefits do I get by fearing approaching and talking with women?

I tend to beat myself up when I get rejected or I feel like a failure and by having a fear of approaching and talking with women, I don’t have to deal with all the hate I give myself.

C. ask yourself “how can I maintain this beneift when I let go of the phobia? Allow enough time for the answer to come into your awareness.

If I love and treat myself well, no matter what happens, I can approach and not care about rejection and I won’t feel like a failure. I’ll have to make a commitment to be kind to myself before approaching so that I’ll feel safe. “I promise to be kind to myself no matter what reaction I get”

D. check to see if there might be a context in which the fear would be appropriate ask yourself, before I allow this fear to completely disappear, would there be any situations in which it would be appropriate? Notice what asnwers come up.

Is there any situation in which its appropriate to fear approaching and talking with an attractive woman? If approaching and talking with an attractive woman was to cause me serious harm (like a jealous boyfriend/husband or other macho SOB trying to pick a fight with me over it) then it would be appropriate to fear approaching.

E. Ecology check. Ask yourself if any other parts object to letting go of the fear. If so, find the positive intent of the objecting part, and aks yourself, how can I manitain [the positve intent of the objecting part] while letting go of the fear?

As long as I don’t commit too much of my time to women or let approaching and talking with women interfere with my other goals, and I make ABSOLUTELY SURE that I promise not to beat myself up then it’s good to let go of my fear.

F. contrast the submodalties of the phobia with those of the counterexample. In most cases its easiest to work with visual submodalities-closeness of the image, moving or still frame, black and white or color, etc. Find the drivers-the one or two that are most diffferent for the counterexample versus the phobia.

Okay when I imagine approaching a dog I’ve never seen before…

The visual is in color.

It’s moving intead of just being a still frame.

It’s close up

It’s centered in my field of vision

It’s pretty focused

It’s panoramic

It’s associated (I’m viewing it as if I was there)

Okay when I imagine approaching an attractive woman I’ve never seen before…

The visual is black and white.

It’s moving

It’s WAY far away

It’s kind of up and to the right.

It’s pretty focused

It’s panoramic

It’s dissociated (watching myself)

Biggest differences were the distance and the associated/dissociated

G. For protection, disassociate yourself from your experience by imagining a thick plate of plexiglass sliding down in front you. Picture yourself out in front of the plexiglas experiencing the counterexample with the driver submodalties (e.g. the butterfly close up and in color)

H. Now imagine looking through the plexiglas, watching yourself experience whatever triggers the phobia with the same submodalities as the counterexample has. Make sure to keep the plexiglass as thick as it needs to be for protection.

I. reintegration. Now remove the plexiglas. Imagine that other you out in fonrt, with the ability to handle the ttrigger resourcefully, imagine drawing that “you” into your heart.


J. Test the change. Put plexiglas back in place and imagine looking at the trigger, and notice youre expeirence, if that feels opkay, remove the plexiglas and again notice the epxiernce. If there is any remaining dicomfort go back to step 6.

Nope retry, only felt a little better.

Better but I want it to feel even more comfortable.

That’s pretty good.

K. future pace. Imagine some future encounter with the trigger and your resourceful reaction.


  1. Creating a Power Trigger

1) find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably undistrubed. Relax and breathe easily.

2) go back to a time when you were powerfully experiencing the desired state. Be in that siutation as if it were happening now. Notice the sights, sounds, and especially the feelings from that experience.

3) for physiology, notice as you experience this empowering state:

4) your posture

5) your breathing

6) facial muscles and the expression on your face

7) most important, your gestures and movement

8) decide on a kinestehtic anchor you can use to access this state systematically

9) you might touch or squeeze:

(1) your earlobe

(2) your wrist

(3) your fists

10) you might do a unique gesture with movement:

(1) thumbs up

(2) clapping hands

(3) fist into the other hand

11) you might also include a power word (auditory compoint):

(1) yes!

(2) Boom!

(3) A power word of significance to you

b) the best gestures, touches, or sounds are ones that ntaurally occur when you are in the desired state

(1) 5. intensify the feelings from this stae.

c) When the feeling reach a peak, fire the anchor you have chosen. The most crucal part of the entire process is having the stimulus coincide with the peak of the expericne or just before the peak.

d) Change your state by standing up, walking around, or drinking something for a few minutes.

e) test the anchor by firing it; that is experinec the touch, sound or both. If you do not go back into the desired state, redo steps 2 through 8 or use a different stimulus for your anchor.

f) whenever you naturally find yourself in the desired state or other empowering states you can stack your trigger by reanchoring these states at the peak of your experience

g) you can create a power anchor by stacking a number of different empowring states using the same stimulus.

Mmmm, I anchored a feeling I had when I was around this chick who really liked me a long time ago. My kinesthtic anchor is punching my right first into my open left hand. It’s good stuff.

  1. Collapsing Anchors

· set up an anchor; a particular stimulus, to trigger the undesired state by following steps 1 through 8 in antiviral remedy 2. be careful not to make the negative state too intense, and by all means do not stack negative states, firing the anchor, however, should clearly trigger the negative state.

· set up a power anchor with a different stimulus. Stack the anchor so that the positive empowering feelings are stronger than the undesireable state.

· fire both anchors simultaneously.

· test the work by firing the former negative anchor. If the anchors are collaspsed you should expereince a neutral or slightly positive state.

  1. Setting Reverse Triggers

· set up an anchor for the undesireable state and a power trigger as you would for collapsing anchors

· when collapsing anchors, fire the negative anchor and positive trigger simultaneously. In contrast, when setting reverse triggers, fire the rejection anchor, relase this anchor then immediately fire the power trigger. Repeat this until firing the former negative anchor by itself automatically triggers empowering states.

Oh man that’s some good stuff…. Reverse triggers are awesome.

So I'm gonna head out tonight and hit a dance club and see what happens.

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