Friday, December 08, 2006

Day 33

I think I've gone about a week without masturbating. It's great. I have more energy (specially sexual energy) which motivates me to talk to people (specially women) and it's wonderful. I get frustrated a lot easier but I can calm down by switching my frame of mind around. There's 12 basic emotions.

The emotion of desire
The emotion of faith
The emotion of love
The emotion of sex
The emotion of enthusiasm
The emotion of romance
The emotion of hope

The emotion of fear
The emotion of jealousy
The emotion of hatred
The emotion of revenge
The emotion of greed
The emotion of superstition
The emotion of anger

You can only feel one of these emotions at a time. Some people will argue with this but you'll find that often people will mistake one emotion for two when in fact what's really going on is one emotion often leads to another. My frustration comes from anger, hatred, and fear. Anger over missed opportunities, hatred of myself for making mistakes, and fear of not being able to form connections with women. So I recognize when I feel frustrated and I switch my frame to love or sex. Since I haven't masturbated in so long, it's easy to switch into sex just by using my imagination.

Once I think about sex or love and get a bit of that feeling in my system, I address whatever problem triggered my frustration. It's a beautiful thing.... Dare I say, I feel like quitting masturbation....

Now part of me is thinking that's crazy talk. It's one thing to quit pornography.... REALLY challenging... It's another thing to quit using the computer as a sexual outlet all together (sex forums) also REALLY challenging....

but... to quit masturbating all together is a baffling concept. I've tried a few times in the past and came to the conclusion that it was just rediculous.

Is it humanly possible? Yes, there are people out there that do this.

Am I going to an extreme? possibly.

Do I want to try? Yeah, no harm in trying.

Is there a serious benefit which will motivate me? Yes, nothing motivates me to pursue women more than my dick and not masturbating magnifies that motivation. People can talk about all the wonders of being in a relationship, and I'll give them credit for it but the true, honest driving force behind me risking rejection and humiliation and injury to self-esteem to ask a woman out is.... my body desires sex.

If it wasn't for sex, I'd probably spend all my time pursuing my basic needs and a whole lotta relaxation. I'd act like an old guy...

So I want 10 rejections this week. A rejection is me asking for a phone number and not getting it (or getting a wrong one).

I got a phone number last week but that doesn't really help here, haha. This is actually going to be a pretty challenging exercise.

No comments:

Post a Comment