Day 49

I don't think I've masturbated since saturday. It's been 3 days. Last time I did this I exploded in anger. This time I realized that I need to take the advice of so many people and learn to relax.

I'm closing my etrade account for trading stocks. I don't have the time to learn it as much as I want to and it's causing a lot of frustration. So it's gone. In place of that, I'm going to pursue relaxation. That's a goal.

I'm hungry for sex. Porn no longer comes to mind when I feel horny. I still feel this screwed up feeling like its not okay to express my desire for sex. screw social conditioning man. Anyways, I have a lot to figure out. I'm proud about 50 days without porn. Nothings goin to bring me back.