Friday, July 01, 2011

Day 31 Without Pornography

I've struggled a bit with looking at sex forums but I haven't looked at pornography pictures or videos for a month now.

I want to say that change begins with understanding. I've been looking at sex forums because I've been pushing myself really hard these last 2 weeks to get things done. The stress that causes has pushed me to want to escape into fantasy occasionally. I'm not beating myself up for this.

What I'm figuring out about myself is that looking at pornography and masturbating in itself doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the amount of time that I waste doing it when I could be doing something else that's either productive or at least memorable (like going someplace new or taking up a new hobby).

I've got to transition now from looking at sex forums on the computer to just fantasizing and masturbating. The idea is to make baby steps away from looking at pornography for 2 hours, down to looking at sex forums, down to not using the computer at all.

I don't plan on eliminating masturbation all together. I've tried that before and I end up becoming very high strung, impulsive, and emotional. I do plan on masturbating less that I used to because I do enjoy the increase in energy.

My strategy for making the transition from using the computer to just fantasizing is to acknowledge when I'm horny, decide to masturbate (instead of trying to resist), and focus on doing it quickly and without the computer.

2 comments:

  1. why not try volunteering and doing something for the service of others...instead of gratifying the self as you are ...when people develop any OCD symptoms, they are usually centered around their own selves..why not offer you time and spirit to others who may need it..

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