Saturday, June 04, 2011

Day 4 Without Pornography

The commenter in the previous post made a good point. Desire for pornography never seems to diminish despite abstaining. I think he's right when he says that it's tied to a natural desire for sex. As long as your sex drive exists, so too will your desire for pornography. This makes some sense to me.

The few times that I've gone 100 days without pornography, I noticed myself saying that I had little desire for porn. I've been able to really focus and drive myself towards redirecting my attention away from porn and towards the things I care about. However, my desire for pornography would return instantly if I began to get stressed out.

If I had a bad day or a string of bad days due to a conflict or an ongoing problem of any sort, my desire to escape and look at pornography would magnify.

When you're feeling good and you're happy, it's much easier to abstain from pornography. When life gets tough, it becomes extremely difficult to manage stress without going back to old habits.

So far, believing in God has helped me find strength in overcoming pornography. It's been 3 months since I last abstained from pornography and here I am ready to give it another shot after canceling my internet didn't do the trick.

God provides a parent-like figure in my life to help guide me when I'm doing something that I know I shouldn't be doing. When I find it irresistible to look at pornography, I ask God what I should do and the answer is to find a healthy alternative. Because God is an authority and I trust that his intentions are to benefit me and my loved ones, I can step back and just accept his suggestion.

I've got to say that being an atheist previously, it is really strange for me to talk about God. I worry about even talking about it because of how serious people take their religions sometimes.

I think it's important for my future to take faith in God so that I can overcome this addiction and live the best life I can. I hope that this blog won't turn into a battle of beliefs. A great many readers of this blog have been religious folk because many religions suggest abstaining from pornography despite the fact that I've mentioned before that I was an atheist.

Just as I hoped not to exclude anyone before, I hope I do not exclude anyone now by mentioning God. As someone who has been an atheist all my life til this point, I can definitely relate to those of you who don't believe in God.

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