Monday, December 14, 2009

Day 15 - Tough Love

This blog has become a beacon for men attempting to rid their habits of watching pornography. One post in particular, called "A Very Important Decision," has gotten over 70 comments from people admitting they have an addiction.

One thing I see alongside the admittance of addiction is self-hate.

"I'm addiction to pornography and I'm a person of little or no value."


You have two choices. Stay addicted to pornography and hate yourself or quit pornography and love yourself. Each choices starts with the hate or love. You cannot quit pornography if you hate yourself.

The fact is a lot of you want to keep hating yourself because it gives you a ticket to look at pornography and do all kinds of other things that aren't healthy for you.

Saying "I'm worthless" means that you are not capable of quitting pornography. Saying "I'm worthless" in any of its forms gives you the permission to do WHATEVER THE HELL you want no matter if it hurts you or others because:

- A worthless person can't do anything right.
- How the hell are you expected to stop using pornography when you are worthless and can't do anything right?
- How can anyone hold poor old you accountable when your just a worthless person?

Every one who visits this blog shows that they have the potential to change themselves. It's evident in your willingness to read about quitting pornography. If you are willing to read about quitting pornography, that means a small part of you believes that its possible and something worthwhile.

You have got to grow that part of you. You have to spend time thinking about the reasons why you want to quit porn.

After awhile you have to start visiting with the part of you that desires pornography. You cannot fight yourself. You have to approach yourself as a diplomat would approach a foreign leader. You must understand the reasons why you look at pornography. Look at the benefits that pornography give you. Do this without hate. Do it like you would if you were an explorer observing a previously undiscovered animal.

Once you understand what drives you to pornography you can begin implementing a resolution.

Does stress push you into pornography?
Does the fact that you don't have any fun push you into pornography?
Does the fact that your life has no purpose push you into pornography?
Are you a slave to your boss/family/girlfriend/wife/friends and does that push you into pornography?

The truth is, pornography is a distraction. It shuts down your brain and gives you pleasure so that you don't have to think about what's bothering you.

You cannot quit pornography unless you address the underlying causes that drive you to look at it. Start by choosing to fight back against your self-hate.


  1. thank you. i cannot tell you how much these blogs do for me. just to have someone out there that understands and wont condemn me more than i've condemned myself.

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