So my urges for pornography are gradually increasing but they are still under control.
I can tell that I'm pretty desperate. Last I got laid was December, which is way too long.
I've noticed that I have an issue with being angry at women. I have this fear/hate feeling when a woman shows interest in me. It's very strange.
On the one side, I really want to connect with people and I really want to have sex but then when a woman shows interest in me, I start feeling really fearful and angry towards her and I withdraw.
What the?
I'm going to bring this up and therapy and I try to get an idea of whats going on with that.
I'm going to be moving hopefully within the next 3 weeks out of my parents and into a rented room in the city.
That's all for now.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
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It's possible you are feeling angry at women because you blame them for your fear. If you can see a woman as being a totally different and separate individual from all the women you've experienced in the past (including those in family, porn, TV, school, work), then there likely won't be a reason for the fear the anger.
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea. I'll keep that in mind. But it does sound like a band aide fix to go around my anger and fear rather than through it by finding what it is that I'm really angry and fearful about. As a quick fix for the short term, that's a really good idea though. Thanks.
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