Saturday, December 08, 2007

Day 14

2 week mark. I've faced some stress and I haven't even considered looking at porn. That doesn't mean much at the 2 week mark though. On my third attempt I faced basically no urges until the day it ended. I have faith though. I've faced some stress, like I said, and I've avoided pornography. That's a good sign. Another good sign is that I've been playing video games a few times. Let me explain...

I've noticed in the past that when I REALLY don't have pornography as an option, I feel the urge to play video games. I think the idea is the same... I'm stressed out, I want something to entertain me and distract me and that's what video games can do. The fact that I've been playing video games is a sign that I don't see pornography as an option and I attribute this to my meditation. I feel I'm really communicating well with my subconscious mind the idea that I want to quit. I think it's really easy to make half-hearted attempts when trying to quit something just for the feeling of "oh, well at least I tried to quit" or "well I was quitting until this or that happened and prevented me so it's not my fault."

It's so easy to rationalize and excuse yourself when deep down, you're just trying to make yourself feel better instead of really dealing with whatever it is that's bothering you. The only way I know how to tap into my deep down desires is to let my subconscious mind understand what it is that I want to do. NLP helps too so why not run through an exercise right now...

Okay here's a NLP process for belief change. I'm going to change my belief that it is hard to never look at pornography for the rest of my life with the belief that it is easy to never look at pornography for the rest of my life.

First step is to think of a belief I believe in completely, like the existence of gravity and a belief I don't believe in like Santa Claus.

Then I'm going to think of submodalities or components of the picture I have for the belief in gravity.

When I picture gravity, I see a pan falling next the tower of Pisa. I have no idea why but that doesn't matter. The picture is bright, solid, moving, big, and clear

Now I'm going to picture Santa Claus. I see a man dressed up as Santa, dancing around to silly music in front of a Christmas tree. It's black and white, small, and kind of gritty like a really old photo.

Okay now I'm going to picture my belief that never looking at porn is hard and I'm going to change that picture so that it has the same characteristics as my belief (or disbelief) of Santa Claus.

Now I'm going to change the picture of my belief that never looking at porn for the rest of my life is easy so that its like my picture of gravity.

Wow... that's intense... I haven't done this in awhile.

Here's to 2 weeks!

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