Thursday, October 18, 2007

Day 1, Third Attempt

Okay so here's the advice from my first day.

Delete it all off your computer.

I don't keep porn on my comp.

Accept it's your fault you are into porn.

It's my fault that I'm into porn and I'm responsible for quitting.

Read christian anti-porn websites

I'll pray to God tonight for help in quitting. I don't believe in God but it's worth a shot.

Find other outlets for your energy.

I'm in college, there's a ton of stuff to do. Looking at porn is not about being horny for me. It's about entertaining myself, making myself feel better when I'm down, and distracting myself from obligations.

Avoid the temptation

I installed k9 web protection to prevent porn sites from being displayed.

Blog it.


Quitting porn is worth the effort because when I go without porn I feel more productive and alive. I feel I'm missing out on reality when I'm sitting all alone wacking it for an hour or two looking at a screen while other people are in relationships or out having fun or even working and trying to make a living. The most important thing is that I really don't see porn as a part of my future. When I dream about things to come, pornography is definitely NOT part of the picture. It would be a very sad thing to me to see myself older and still doing this.

I am confident that if I post here everyday, make a commitment every morning to not look at porn, write down what I've learned if I make mistakes, have a friend who I can confide in, and make a real effort that I can never look at porn again. I believe that replacing pornography with other activities is entirely appropriate and a challenge that I am capable of overcoming. I am responsible for this and I deserve this.

I recognize a problem with my prior attempts. I looked at sex forums and considered these things not technically pornography. The truth is they have the same negative side effects. Particularly that they consume a lot of time. Instead of looking for that one video that really gets me off, I'm looking for that one post that does it for me. Not this time. I am going to consider sex forums as pornography and reset my number of days without porn anytime I look at them and most importantly I'll try to learn something from it.

On my post on persistence I mentioned some problems I was facing that caused an increase in my desire for porn.
Friends - I'm lonely cause I don't have a group of friends whom I relate to.
Play - Other than cycling, I don't have a hobby. I tend to think of anything that is fun as being a waste of time and that's just not true. A life spent being serious and working hard is not really a life at all.
Relaxation - Meditation, masturbation are the only things that are relieving stress for me. I think ultimately, when I make the big transition from having the perspective I have now to the perspective proposed by the book "the seven spiritual laws of success," I will vastly improve my ability to relax.
Sex - I live with my parents and I just don't like bringing chicks over here.
Things have changed now that I'm away at college.

Friends - I have quite a few friends now and it's great.
Play - I'm cycling with a club and it's a lot of fun, I also do random stuff with my friends so this are of my life has improved.
Relaxation - I've been pretty good at meditating, working out, exercising, etc.
Sex - I'm not living with my parents anymore and I got a room to myself, all is well.

Okay that's enough for tonight.

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